LJ

[alexandral]

Something koalathebear said made me thinking about LJ, friends in real and “fanthom” life and all such things

I found LJ this summer during crazy “Battlestar Galactica” obsession period, when I was reading all Kara/Lee fan fiction I could put my hands on. My first reaction was – these people are mad writing long posts about their life and reviewing TV shows and commenting on other people’s life and so on so forth (forgive me, I never had any history of forums before) . But then, after awhile, I found that some people’s ideas are fascinating to me, that I want to talk to these people. So I joined LJ, and I love it indeed. I also would love to meet my LJ friends in the “real life”, but nobody seems live in England yet.

LJ friends are not less real to me then my RL friends (though with different kind of reality, and Internet is a REALITY of our time). There is some quality of sincerity about LJ. In a way I like the fact that I don’t really know what facial features/bodily parameters my LJ friends have. ;) This is an ideal situation – people on LJ like/dislike us by what we say and think, not how we look, smell or how rich or poor we are.

As to adding/removing from the friends list, I will not be unreasonably upset if somebody deletes me from their friends list (unless these are people with whom we talk together more, then of course I need to know why). If somebody doesn’t find my writings interesting – o well, this is life.. They have their human rights. ;)

About bitching – this is what I find REALLY unforgivable in any life – real or LJ. If you think something unflattering about a person and really-really want to voice it – go and tell it to this person’s face, otherwise keep your thoughts to yourself. I am sorry, but I think this is important. I can’t say that I never slip into bitchiness, but this is one of the things that makes me ashamed of myself if I do.

Comments

[koalathebear.livejournal.com]

[Unknown site tag]

I agree. For me there's a difference between the people whose journals I just read or read my journals and the people with whom I 'interact' - we comment regularly and have a connection. Those people become much more 'real' to me and more than just a journal or a set of words. You for instance are very real to me :)

As to bitchiness. Sigh. I don't there's any excuse for it. Yeah sometimes we don't like other people's fics or the way they write or we think it's stupid but I just think - "how would I feel if I read a post like that about ME?"

Anyway I'm glad I met Good People like you on LJ. It makes it all worthwhile :)

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

Just look at what i typed quickly - how abhorring, you are so fortunate as a to have some great typing skills!!

I just think - "how would I feel if I read a post like that about ME?"

This is what i always think as well. When i was younger (a teenager, i think) i didn't have that protective ability to wear a mask of "normal" person yet and had some instances of somebody not being nice to me (not too much, just to help me develop). I always remember how i felt and if i meet a person about whom everybody saying "or, they are this and that", it makes me think - "they are not hurting everybody, they are just different. I REMEMBER how that feels" Sometimes i try to over-compensate and be particular nice to this person.

[shadowserenity.livejournal.com]

This is an ideal situation – people on LJ like/dislike us by what we say and think, not how we look, smell or how rich or poor we are.

For me, that's definitely why the internet is *love*. That, and I get to meet all types of different people. I think if I disliked someone on the net, it would be because they're rude or abrasive over poor/smelly/size/etc.

Like you, the downside to living in Australia is never having the opportunity to meet most of my friends! Most of whom are American.

I had a journal before shadowserenity and that was for communicating with friends I knew that had an lj (not real life friends, though. My encounter with people I know in RL over the net has been incredibly bad because they all seem to talk in netspeak and riddles). This account was originally for BSG fiction until I found the H/B people. On my previous account, I had *horrible* trouble writing in my lj even once a month. It was a pretty pink, however.

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

You are always very open in your posts, i admire that very much!

all seem to talk in netspeak and riddles I find it hard to read if somebody speaks in netspeak and riddles all the time ( i am not educated enough in it, i am afraid ;) )
Australia is lovely!

[winterspel.livejournal.com]

alexandral, I have never met you, yet you also feel very "real" to me. I talk about you to Nicola ("Oh, alexandral wrote something so nice today!"), and it doesn't matter to me that we've never met. I feel that way about several of the people on my friends list who as Koala says, I've interacted with, and I feel like we've shared things that are important to us.

There is some quality of sincerity about LJ.

I agree with this, at least with the people I seemed to have gathered around me. I've been more cautious that some in that I normally only add people that I really, really have an interest in (with a few exceptions), and many of my friends list happen to be Real Life friends already. So I guess I've preselected my group for Cool People, and I do feel that sincerity, and also genuine warmth and kindness.

I would love to meet you, and if I come back to England (which I do hope to do), it would be lovely to put a face to the name and writings. :)

Your feelings about bitching in LJ are similar to my feelings about ranting - by this I mean just the mindless outrage that some use their entries for - to complain about someone or something that is rather harmless. That's not to say that we should only say pleasant things, but sometimes the unrelenting negativity I see occasionally when I surf others friends lists is rather depressing. I do try to stick to the philosophy "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything" - at least when it comes to talking about other people, or things that aren't hurting anyone at all.

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

I would love to meet you, and if I come back to England O, i am so much looking forward to it!

I do agree with the whole heart about "ranting" (as mindless outrage and complaining). I feel that i want to share something nice or interesting with the world, not my grievances (though i don't grievances as such ;)). But this is a copy of the real wold, sometimes it happens there as well.


O, i am so glad LJ is sending my messages again,!!!

[gobi-rex.livejournal.com]

LJ friends are not less real to me then my RL friends

I feel the same way. It's so gratifying to meet and talk to people who share your obsessions interests and whom you otherwise wouldn't have an opportunity to meet in person. And I second what koalathebear, shadowserenity and winterspel said.

There is some quality of sincerity about LJ. In a way I like the fact that I don’t really know what facial features/bodily parameters my LJ friends have.

Yes. I find it much easier to be frank on the internet than in real life (except for times when things can be easily misinterpreted).

I've been fortunate enough to meet two good fandom friends in person. I was nervous, naturally, but then I kept telling myself, "they already met your brain, don't worry about the rest." And speaking of meeting in real life, it's so weird to talk about fandom things outside the internet. Sort of an out of body experience, actually.

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

And speaking of meeting in real life, it's so weird to talk about fandom things outside the internet. Sort of an out of body experience, actually

That what i am thinking sometimes, i would love to meet LJ friends in person, but i think - WHAT we are going to talk about? Will i be interesting to them then? I think i am more "normal" in my RL (just trying to put a mask of normality, really ;)), where in LJ i just write what i want to talk about ;)

[endlessdeep.livejournal.com]

I really like the way you describe things. You are very honest and open and I might add mature. :) I like that. What you have described about LJ is very much the same way I feel.