All dressed to kill OR Vampires are very bad at choosing clothes, in pictures

[alexandral]

I am so very happy that "Moonlight" is doing so well recently and improving with every episode. HEEE! I guess this is the good time for some snark. I forewarn anyone: This post contains views on fashions that are mine and mine only. I don't think (far from it!) that I am good at this or anything of the sort. It is just for fun. It all started in the pilot, of course. With this:



Below are 11 crimes against fashion in supernatural settings of Moonlight, in order of terribleness

This something that has been known for centuries to the great men of long gone past:
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society. ~ Mark Twain
Any man may be in good spirits and good temper when he's well dressed. There ain't much credit in that. ~Charles Dickens
Carelessness in dressing is moral suicide. ~Honoré de Balzac

Now, let's just look at this:

10. Number 20 is an undertaker-style hanky as worn by Josef in "Arrested Development". There is a time and a place for everything, baby!



9. Black looks good on Mick but the fact that he insists on wearing his jacket's collar always up makes me wonder if vampires feel cold, so cold (or may be he is undercover all the time)??



8. Stripy shirt of doomed confessions:



7. Something that is utilised by Russian mafia members so often that every time I see it on anyone on a street I immediately think "Hi, comrade!". Yes, you are correct, it is a leather jacket!




6. And as far as jackets go, a velvet jacket only looks good on bohemia-looking younger men with shoulder-length hair. But I confess that I like the colour combination in the sceencap below:



5. There is nothing that says "You are a killer and you belong to prison" as good as this suit, especially in combination with the hair-shave!



4 The laws of physics are simple. Dark brown does not suit women with blond hair. Do not wear it if you want to be noticed.



3 From the_grynne: " Alex, with those clothes, that haircut, always looks to me like he's auditioning to be a pornstar. It's a credit to the actor that I can still take the character (mostly) seriously." Personally, I do take Alex very seriously but the combination below makes me grudgingly agree with the "he's auditioning to be a pornstar" bit.



2. The dress that got Beth into the seedy vampire club in "B.C.". If your father ever sees you wearing anything like this he is bound to say "You look like a hooker". And he will be absolutely correct!



1. Sophia Myles is a gorgeous woman. It is a true crime to make her wear a jumper that makes her look 4 times bigger and 10 years older!



0. And the winner is: Braces worn by Josef in the pilot. This is so bad in so many ways that it leaves me speechless:



And here is Mick who is pondering if he should set the whole wardrobe of the series on fire



Hold on, Mick!! Do not be upset!! Remember, Josef had a nice shirt once:



And there were many gratuitous scenes of you not wearing anything at all:



And even more, there was my FAVOURITE scene in the shower where the cut of clothes didn't even matter a single bit??



ALL IS NOT LOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS Please feel free to disagree or to add some of your "favourite" choices of clothing in "Moonlight" series!

Comments

[the-grynne.livejournal.com]

a velvet jacket only looks good on bohemia-looking younger men with shoulder-length hair

OR Gary Oldman, who is the exception to the rule, because he is that awesome. :)

Remember, Josef had a nice shirt once

I snorted with laughter at this. COffee nearly came out of my nose.

My least favourite item in Mick's wardrobe is that pale-green skintight open-neck t-shirt he was wearing when he was at home, which is always what prompts the "pornstar" comments.

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

OR Gary Oldman, who is the exception to the rule, because he is that awesome. :)

Agree! This is all in the quirky/slightly odd factor. Anyone who is trying to wear a velvet jacket with a straight face is bound to look as an orchestra conductor.

My least favourite item in Mick's wardrobe is that pale-green skintight open-neck t-shirt he was wearing when he was at home, which is always what prompts the "pornstar" comments.

I don't mind these t-shirts as they show off his necklace (for which I have a fixation) but there is something that is not quite right there. Amy be it is the way they show off his muscular chest (again, no problem with me but I hear you!)

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

SO MUCH FAIL, MY FRIEND. I HAD TO FIND THIS POST VIA THE ML NEWSLETTER???! Ever since you had been mentioning that someone should point out the Massive Fail in Moonlight Costuming on your lj, I've been dying to see a post like this. the_grynne, YOU ARE MY ONLY HOPE IN FANDOM LINKAGE. *CLINGS TO YOU!*

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

Bwah! That is all...

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

The fashion designer of "Moonlight" is on some kind of drugs, I think..:D

[embitca.livejournal.com]

I actually like the braces. And the velvet jacket. I think Beth is the one who is most frequently dressed poorly. That dress she wore to the nightclub was a horror show. Just awful.

Mick looks better in Henleys than in dress shirts, but it is his jeans I question the most. I swear to God he is wearing vintage 80s Jordache or something. Occasional glimpses of detailing on the back pockets make my eyes bleed!

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

I think Beth is the one who is most frequently dressed poorly. That dress she wore to the nightclub was a horror show. Just awful

I have read in some of the interviews that Sophia noticed that the fashion designers of the show were trying really hard not to make her look "too sexy" . And the result is - I agree with you, she looks frumpy quite often and it is only the fact that the actress is so gorgeous that saves it. She is dressed as a person who is much older than Beth is supposed to be. The dress was just too bad..

[savepureness.livejournal.com]

Finally! Someone else noticing how short on fashion taste Josef is!!! I was complaining about that for ages :D

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

Which episode are you on now? This one was really, really good!

** I mistyped "Josef" as "Jacob" in this post. TWICE! He-he!

[neuriel.livejournal.com]

Stumbled onto your journal by accident. I'm so glad you're a Moonlight fan too. This show has completely taken over my brain. And re: the wardrobe, seeing it all together makes it even worse. Hee, luckily the cast is hot enough to pull off questionable clothing.

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

I never expected to get drawn into "Moonlight" the way I was. I agree with you - I think it is the fabulous actors and the spark between all three leads that makes this show. Mick - I hardly even notice what he is wearing anymore! :D

[endlessdeep.livejournal.com]

Hee. It all so true. The style of clothes is very 70's/80's-ish, which seems to be back in style for some reason. Although it's not quite so garish believe it or not.

I have to admit I am kind of partial to Mick's tight low riding pants and tight shirts. He does have the body for it. :)

Your "Hi, comrade" comment cracked me up. I'm not very fond of that particular leather jacket either. Although I don't mind the black trench coat. And I have to agree with you on the turned up collar, it bothers me.

The worst clothing choice so far though has to be that terrible dress Beth wore to the club. The one you have pictured up there with the red belt. I wonder who on the set of Moonlight thought that dress would be sexy?

I'm baffled by the sudden appearance of the staircase in Mick's apartment. But it's good because I was wondering if he had a bedroom. Which I'm sure we will see at some point. You know he needs a bed for appearances sake. ;)

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

I have to admit I am kind of partial to Mick's tight low riding pants and tight shirts. He does have the body for it. :)

** nods ** If I met someone in RL wearing something like this I would have probably laughed. but Mick - bring on, I don't mind!! :D

I don't mind the black trench coat.

I have a deep thing about trench coats which has nothing to do with Matrix. I have one myself (but I don't get to wear it very often here)..

I'm baffled by the sudden appearance of the staircase in Mick's apartment. But it's good because I was wondering if he had a bedroom. Which I'm sure we will see at some point. You know he needs a bed for appearances sake. ;)

Oh, I am sure he has a bed in his "Fortress of Style" (as bigboobedcanuck calls it). Just for pure appearances sake.

[mr-kit.livejournal.com]

Don't know the show, but this picspam amused me heartily.

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

Thank you - I am glad you liked it!

[timescout.livejournal.com]

LOL!! You are eeevilll, you know? *g* Bringing up all the fashion faux pas' of the show in one post.

Good thing I don't normally pay much attention on what anyone is wearing. Such things just slip by me, along with plotholes, inconsistences, disappearing/appearing props etc, ha. One easy to please viewer here. *waves a hand*

Besides Mick is so pretty he could wear a paperbag for all I care. ;P

I do actually have a 'thing' for leather jackets - and I'm blaming Life on Mars for that. The Jacket™ is practically a cast member in LoM. :)

[stabbim.livejournal.com]

Besides Mick is so pretty he could wear a paperbag for all I care. ;P

Or no paperbag at all. You can always rip it off if you don't like it. *runs and hides*

I do actually have a 'thing' for leather jackets - and I'm blaming Life on Mars for that. The Jacket™ is practically a cast member in LoM. :)

That's true! Didn't John Simm keep one for himself? Both jackets are very cool. I own a few leather jackets myself, one of them very similar to Mick's. I usually don't notice clothes, either, but I the way Mick dresses didn't go by unnoticed.

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

It occurred to me last night that maybe Josef is a fan of Captain Jack (http://classic-horror.com/files/images/07EPISODEONETorchwoodJuly9_m.masters.jpg). That could explain the suspenders (braces).

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

Heeee! This is funny but braces look GREAT on Captain Jack!

[baleanoptera.livejournal.com]

HEE!!! I don't watch this show, but this post was amusing on its own accord. Poor Jason D. trapped in the horrid purple thing.
Do the vampires on this show appear in mirrors? because if they don't then that can explain all the bad clothes. They think they look good, but lack of reflection makes it impossible for them to check.
Not that this explains Sophia Myles' clothes. ;P

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

Do the vampires on this show appear in mirrors? because if they don't then that can explain all the bad clothes. They think they look good, but lack of reflection makes it impossible for them to check.
Not that this explains Sophia Myles' clothes. ;P

Now, this is a GREAT idea! I don't remember mirrors mentioned yet, though! It is all very high-tech, in a sense that vampires don't apper on photographs but this doesn't apply to digital photography for some reason..

This show is sooooooooooo addictive..

[girl-undone.livejournal.com]

This post is hysterical! I did something like this about the movie 'Essex Boys' with Sean Bean.

But I must disagree with blondes in in dark brown. A whole lot of people cannot wear brown. It's a hard colour to wear. But blondes and red heads are the best bets in that hue. I actually get a lot of compliments when I wear medium to dark brown shades. However, I'm not blonde like Sophia Myles.

I personally think no blonde should ever wear red because they look horrible in it, but people totally disagree with me on that one.

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

I am glad you liked it!!!!!!

But I must disagree with blondes in in dark brown. A whole lot of people cannot wear brown. It's a hard colour to wear. But blondes and red heads are the best bets in that hue. I actually get a lot of compliments when I wear medium to dark brown shades. However, I'm not blonde like Sophia Myles.

I observe (but this is again just my opinion) that brown looks the best on women with some red in their hair (like you, may be) or on people with dark coloured skin (the best IMHO). My daughter is similar colouring like Sophia – blond, very fair skinned and blue eyed. Brown makes her look pale and green/blue skinned. But red (on lighter scale) looks excellent on her. But I agree- red suits the best to dark-haired people IMHO.

[sarisynn.livejournal.com]

The only comment I have to make is that I love the leather jacket. I *LOVE* a guy in a leather jacket. OK and I agree with Beth's club dress... that looked pretty bad. It would have looked ok if not for the red.

My favorite outfit worn by Mick is nothing at all ^^

[stabbim.livejournal.com]

The best part about that leather jacket is that I have one just like that! Even the buttons look incredibly alike. It's not the exact same one, of course, but still... :D

I loved that Josef tried not to stare...

[chellealistic.livejournal.com]

To be honest, I absolutely love Josef's clothing. Remember, he is supposed to be like 400 years old. He has that old flare and it's sexy. I especially like the velvety jackets and dark maroon shirt! :D

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

Remember, he is supposed to be like 400 years old. He has that old flare and it's sexy.

This is a very good point - both Josef and Mick are supposed to be "old". This explains quite a bit!

[cryssiemarsters.livejournal.com]

LOL this post was really amusing, thanks for it! :)) I mostly agree with you there. The only thing is that I liked Mick's porn-star outfit :P *hides* and also think Beth was sexy in that club-dress. Okay, sure she looked like a hooker, but hell, she looked like a sexy hooker! LOL

Another thing that made me bother this far was Beth with this huge bag at that party for the ex-prisoner. Come on, it's a party, such a huge bag doesn't suit that black cocktail-dress!!
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/Cryssie_M/09a84ea2.jpg
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y234/Cryssie_M/e3e521f8.jpg

[stabbim.livejournal.com]

ROFL. Don't feel bad, I loved Mick's outfit, too. And I so agree about the hooker outfit. But hey, like Mick would say, she wears is well. ;)

[stabbim.livejournal.com]

Thanks for capping the pink jumper! It truely ain't beautiful.

I gotta agree, when Mick's outfit in B.C. was hot, maybe too hot. ;)

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

I gotta agree, when Mick's outfit in B.C. was hot, maybe too hot. ;)

I confess I re-watched the scene 100 times, may be. The moment where Beth is touching his chest. :D

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

Mick looks hot & cool in whatever he's wearing (though of course the nothing at all is my unbeatable favourite).

Can' agree more with this - luckily the show creators seem to have vowed "At least one bare-chest Mick per episode" vow. :D They are kind to us, humans :D.

[gloomybardgirl.livejournal.com]

Your list really amused me. This isn't the most stylish cast but in a weird way the badness kind of works. I'm just glad they got rid of the suspenders. I noticed you didn't mention them so you might have liked them but they just didn't look right.

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

Your list really amused me. This isn't the most stylish cast but in a weird way the badness kind of works.

Moonlight is really a special phenomena for me - there are so many things of brow-rising quality but at the same time it hooks me like no other.

[trystan830.livejournal.com]

hehehe.... this is an awesome post. i think i got here from moonlight_tv. or somewhere.

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

Thank yuo so much! I am glad you found it!

[lincolnimp.livejournal.com]

don't mind clothes....just let them be naked all the time ^^
(nice picspam!)

[trystan830.livejournal.com]

*interrupting*

i love your icon!

[kabelicious.livejournal.com]

LOL - nice! This is definitely called for. I will say that those tight-thermal-esque shirts on Mick are hawtness though....

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

I will say that those tight-thermal-esque shirts on Mick are hawtness though....

Can't agree with you more! They are very distracting - I keep staring at his chest. :D

[longlostblue.livejournal.com]

Something that is utilised by Russian mafia members so often that every time I see it on anyone on a street I immediately think "Hi, comrade!".

Okay, I literally spit out my drink at that one!

And Josef's velvet coat actually reminded me of Willy Wonka...

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

And Josef's velvet coat actually reminded me of Willy Wonka...

EEEEEE! This is so good I am going to update the post (giving you proper credit of course) if you don't mind!

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

I LOVE THIS POST. AND AGREE SO MUCH.


OH SHOW.

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

BUT I LOVE IT SO!

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I like most of the above! I think kdramas have permanently made me immune to anything but turly hideous clothing (remember Goong?)

with those clothes, that haircut, always looks to me like he's auditioning to be a pornstar

But surely anyone auditioning for that position would be sans clothes? :)

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

HEEE!!! Goong is quite terrible in that sense. But I sometimes like kdrama clothing - it is quite a different "planet" in terms of clothing..